Before I discovered hickory golf, my predilection for liquids with alcoholic content often exercised my conscience, particularly when finding myself in “Dry Counties” and among the more abstemious of my religious friends and acquaintances. Generally, the Locals were very kind and tolerant of my evil tendency, ascribing it variously to my Irish blood and lack of sound upbringing. I am constantly reminded of the emigration from the Old Country of the Puritans and other Dissenters to America, to find a Heaven where the Tavern did not prove more popular than the House of Worship!
Since I fell among Hickory Golfers, however, I have been able to lay my inferiority complex to rest, and give thanks to the Men in Skirts for giving the World golf and whiskey as the perfect union. It has not gone unnoticed that every Golf Club worthy of the name has at least one temple to hedonism, and usually several designed to match the needs of the Faithful. The flask is still as necessary an accoutrement to the field as is the pencil bag containing the weapons, and modern golfers have the additional resource of the nubile young lady dispensing the nectar in various forms from the modern chariot of choice.
For the indifferent golfer, this universal respect for Bacchus is a godsend, as the failures in play are soon forgotten in good company made more mellow and intelligent by the effects of the holy nectar – indeed, my continuing presence, and that of the rest of the “Cannon-Fodder” at Events can only be explained by the realization that hickory golf provides a forum for good living and camaraderie, validating the spoiling of a good walk in like-minded company!
Now the New Year has been brought in proper traditional style, your Correspondent wishes all Hickory Golfers a very happy and prosperous 2012, with fewer broken shafts; a plethora of newfound golfing companions, and a welcome sanctuary from an uncivilized world. Enjoy drinking and driving without recourse to the highways and byways!