The following account first appeared on the website of the Northwest Hickory Players.
Click here to see the story on that website.
Click here for photos of the event.
Robert Birman, 2022 Pacific Northwest gutty champion.
By John Lavendoski
On Saturday, Oct. 22, 19 hearty souls teed it up in the second annual “Pacific Northwest Gutty Championship”, played via two nine-hole loops over the venerable Meadowmeer Golf Club on Bainbridge Island, Wash.
Firstly, we would like to thank the membership and staff at Meadowmeer, who opened up their golf course to us for the entire afternoon, prepared and served us a sumptuous “welcome luncheon” upon our arrival, and generally embraced Gutty Golf with open arms, warm hearts and delightfully curious minds. Thanks also to our event co-organizers Mr. Christopher McIntyre (who hand-crafted our Contestant Badges and our splendid Championship Medals) and Mr. John Lavendoski who served as Master of Ceremonies throughout the day.
Festivities began around noon with the traditional group photo, courtesy of Mr. Jimmy “The Shutterbug” Bucher, but it was the “Captain’s Driving-In” Ceremony on the first tee which perhaps best captured the truly historic nature of the occasion. Mr. McIntyre (founder of The McIntyre Golf Ball Company) was formally announced as our “Gutty Captain” for the upcoming year. News of his elevation to this noble role was met with appreciative applause from the gathered multitudes, while the pageantry of the entire event was captured for posterity by noted filmmaker, and sometime Golf Channel personality, Mr. Robert Birman.
For this august occasion, Captain McIntyre made use of a ceremonial sand-tee (molded by none-other than your humble scribe) which included silica grains collected from both The Musselburgh Golf Links and The Old Course at St. Andrews itself (courtesy of retrieval mission earlier this year). The well-known and highly efficacious properties of this fabled sand, combined with the vigorous and free-flowing nature of Captain McIntyre’s swing, resulted in what may well be remembered as one of the most glorious Gutty shots of the 21st century. As video evidence will confirm for generations to come, Captain McIntyre unleashed “an absolute corker” !!
One young caddy, stationed down the fairway to retrieve Captain McIntyre’s ceremonial tee shot (at a distance politely described by onlookers as “disloyally close to the tee box”) was heard to comment, in a mixture of shock & awe, as the ball sailed over his head: “Gawd Blimey !! Old Mac really biffed that one right on the snout, he did !!”. Of course, our new Captain’s natural modesty prevented his officially commenting upon the length of said drive, but the twinkle in his eyes, and the decidedly chuffed spring in his step, spoke with more eloquence than any poor and paltry words could ever hope to do on such an occasion.
This remarkable historical spectacle was followed by a few relevant remarks on “Gutty Play” from well-known bon vivant (and International Player) Mr. Robert “Kiltie” Ahlschwede…who was, as ever, resplendent in his “Sporting Kilt” (and little else) and his jaunty Scottish Bonnet. Mr. Ahlschwede is a veteran of 50+ gutty events over the years, and is one of the founders of 21st century gutty play here in the Pacific Northwest.
With all the ritual proprieties concluded, the tournament itself got underway with eleven players competing with pre-1905 equipment and gutty golf balls in The Park Gutty Division. Four players competing with post-1905 clubs and gutty golf balls in the Vardon Division, and four players competing with post-1905 equipment and reduced-distance McIntyre “Braid Golf Balls” in the Braid Division.
When the final scores were tallied, Mr. Robert Birman of Washington State posted an impressive round of 39-42 = 81 in the Park Championship Division to capture the Men’s Pacific Northwest Gutty title. In doing so, he was one of only three players in the entire field able to better 40 strokes during any nine hole segment. Mr. Birman’s game was razor sharp all day, and it was only a late double-bogey on #17 which prevented him from establishing a new tournament-course record of 79. Mr. Birman had only quite recently completed an extensive golfing tour of Scotland, and pundits of all stripes were in agreement that it was this sojourn, to the ancestral home of the great and glorious game, which invigorated Mr. Birman’s play, and which lead to his Championship form. Well done on a noteworthy victory, Sir. “Lang May Your Lum Reek !!!”…as they say in Scotland.
The Park Division Runner-up Medal went to Mr. John “The Stylist” Quickstad, also of Washington State, with a total of 39-45 = 84. This writer, who played alongside Mr. Q and was engaged in a spirited scoring battle with him throughout the day, can confirm that Mr. Q’s tee game, iron-play and putting were absolutely brilliant through 15 holes. Alas, Mr. Quickstad seemed to fall prey to the well-known (and not infrequently insidious) trap of settling into a “match play” mindset…thereby keeping pace with a player in his own group, versus playing against the course itself. Sensing victory over the foe-at-hand, Mr. Q perhaps relaxed ever-so-slightly over the final three holes, leading to a handful of indifferently played strokes (seemingly ‘out-of-nowhere’) and resulting in the loss of four strokes to par. It was this lone three-hole-stretch which ultimately led to his undoing at the hands of the methodical and clearly focused, Mr. Birman.
The 2022 Ladies’ Pacific Northwest Gutty title was once again won by Ms. Paula Anderson, who defended her 2021 title in repeat-performance style. As was the case a year ago, Ms. Anderson’s determined mental game (enabling her to rebound from any occasional setback) and deadly putting were the deciding factors in her victory over our runner-up, Ms. Sandy Bucher. Both ladies also showed tremendous physical fortitude during their rounds, as each played from the same tees as their male counterparts. They are both to be commended for their gritty play and their dedication to the spirit of the game.
The Men’s Park Division also featured a “net score” competition which was won by Mr. Martin Pool with a superb net score of 74, playing off a handicap of 13. Mr. Pool’s card reveals very solid golf…with numerous 4s & 5s, and no score over 6. Well played, Sir !! The Net Runner-up position featured a tie between Mr. Steve Simmons (playing off 21) and Mr. John Lavendoski (playing off 9), both of whom posted net scores of 76. Mr. Simmons was awarded the Runner-up medal via a match-of-cards tiebreaker, and is to be congratulated on his never-give-up attitude after some difficult early holes. Mr. Lavendoski deserves notice for his steady play, as he was the only golfer in the entire field to have not recorded any score higher than “bogey” on any hole of the tournament.
In the Vardon Division, the gross score winner was Mr. David Myrtakis, playing off a (somewhat gaudy) handicap of 1. Mr. Myrtakis, who only recently relocated to the area from California, fired a wisdom-inducing round of 44-39 = 83 in this, his first tournament here in the Pacific Northwest. We look for him to contend for the overall championship in 2023 and beyond. Our own Mr. Jimmy “The Shutterbug” Bucher, playing off 13, took low net honors with a fine net score of even-par 72, courtesy of an excellent opening nine gross score of 40. Mr. Bucher was his typical steady self, and was the lone player to card four “3s”. Well played, Sir !!
The Braid Division, featuring a non-gutty (but reduced distance) ball, designed to simulate some aspects of genuine gutty play, was won by Pacific Northwest stalwart, Mr. Peter Yagi, with a highly competent score of 43-40 = 83. Mr. Yagi’s splendid putting continues to make him a match for any player in this division. Net honors went to the youngest player in the entire field, Mr. Stephen “The Kid” Lavendoski, who turned 10 years of age just two weeks before the tournament. Young Master Stephen, playing from the men’s tees and sporting his signature 1890s-era flat cap and long trousers, fired an eye-opening net score of 70, off a USGA handicap of 26. It should also be noted that almost all of Master Stephen’s clubs (he plays with only six in total) were ironically restored and sold to him by Mr. Yagi himself…including one club which was delivered to him only that very morning. Congratulations go to Young Master Stephen and a “Thank You” to Mr. Yagi for helping make this possible.
Based on the enthusiastic reception evinced by each and every participant, we look forward to playing this competition again in 2023, and each year thereafter, as a fitting addition to our hickory schedule here in the Pacific Northwest. In 2023, we will also promote this event to Gutty Players from around the country who may be interested in visiting the majestic mountains and woodlands of our Region. Stay tuned to the SOHG website for more information.